Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
