so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
