I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
