The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
