and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
