You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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