How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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