it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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