Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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