Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize