you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
