I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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