You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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