You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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