she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
