Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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