u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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