i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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