Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
