Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
