Did you just see the Batmobile???
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize