I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize