I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
