I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
