So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
