I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
