Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
