how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I think a kid would responsible me up
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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