Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
