just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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