Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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