I need help removing her.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
