yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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