Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
