Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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