well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
