if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
