Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
