watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
