You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
