How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
