Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
How does it feel to date your dad?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
