1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
