She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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