she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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