If that was your dad, he is hot
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
