I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
ok first of all what the fuck
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
