I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize