Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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