Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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