Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I wish i was in the wii world.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
