the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
