he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
