he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Randomize
