Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
