I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
