Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
