we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
