I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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